Fixpert

Hi. My name is Sally. I’m a lady. It’s true. I know I’m forever talking about bikes and cartoons and comic books and potty humor, larry & balky bartakomus, skateboarding and gadgets. But…I am a lady.

Let me tell you about my weekend…

For reasons that I won’t go into, this weekend I felt that I should try and dress a little more feminine than usual. So, I ditch the t-shirt and sneakers, get rid of the rolled up pants (rolled up for avoiding snags and chain grease when riding my bike, of course), and I put on a little tanktop, skirt, and some little sandal high heel thingies — trying to look cute. Trying to look like, um, a girl, you know? So what happened?

Dressing Cute F’ing Sucks!

What happens when you wear cute little strappy high heel sandals?

• Um, you can’t really walk very much
• You can’t walk very fast
• You definitely can’t run
• You can’t walk on sand, grass, dirt, or gravel
• Trying to walk on brick, tiles, or manhole covers with big holes is hella dangerous
• If you do walk a lot, you chafe
• If you continue to walk, you get blisters
• If you continue to walk, you get raw chafey painful sores
• At this point, if you continue to walk, you will become utterly miserable and no fun to hang out with

What happens when you wear cute little short skirt?

• You can’t ride a bike (unless you have bloomers on hand)
• Handstands and cartwheels are out of the question
• No piggie back rides unless you want to get arrested for indecent exposure

…ok, ok, the list could go on, but you get the idea. Basically, you become boring and un-fun. You are limited to sitting or small amounts of slow walking. You’re job when dressed this way is essentially to look cute, and not much else. No kickflips, no running around, no hacky sack, or rambunctiousness, or other tomfoolery.

You get a lot less exercise when you’re in porcelain-doll-mode. More importantly, you have a lot less fun. You are chafed and uncomfortable, and that puts you in a crappy mood so then you’re not fun to be around. You start to hate yourself. You hate yourself for not being fun, for giving in to the social pressure to dress this way, for ruining your day and everyone else’s.

What Do Other Girls Say About This?

Actually, I’d really like to know. Because of the subject matter of this site, I don’t think I have many female readers, but I would love to hear from them and get their take. I remember asking a girl friend of mine about what shoes she wears when she goes dancing. I love dancing, but I am usually not looking very girly on the dancefloor because I’m wearing reasonable shoes. My friend wears big huge heels.

“Don’t those shoes hurt your feet when you’re dancing for hours,” I asked.

And she just kind of shrugged, “Yeah.”

Dudes have no idea the suffering that women are going through to look pretty for them, unless of course the lady is whining and complaining (like me this weekend, hehe).

A Bit of Redemption

This afternoon, after all the chafing and discomfort, I fully reverted back to tomboy mode. I took off the skirt and heels, tossed them in the closet, flipped them the bird, and grabbed my sneakers, t-shirt, and pants, jumped on my favorite (fixed gear) bike, and pedaled down the street to the coffee shop. I was happy, probably smiling, and did a fun little trick dismount and locked up right out front.

I had my iPod shuffle playing some Sam Cooke jams, and was walking towards the shop’s entrance when a man sitting at one of the tables outside flags me down. I take off my headphones.

He says, “How did you jump off your bike like that? It looked like fun!”

“I’m, oh, I dunno, it is fun though. It’s a special kind of bike that lets me do that trick,” I say.

We chatted for a while, his friend got in on the conversation too. We talked about track bikes, about technology companies and international considerations for VC and investing in tech companies.

I went inside to get a drink, and when I came back out of the cafe, he waves at me again.

“What makes you so interesting,” he asked.

I kind of laughed, a little embarrassed, “Haha, um, I don’t know.”

“Most women, you know, no offense, but they don’t really have much to say,” she said, “I mean, maybe they’re beautiful, but when you try to talk to them it’s boring.”

I thanked him and told him that he really made my day and gave me a nice compliment just when I needed it.

Conclusion? Be Yourself - DUH!

If I had driven to the coffee shop and had been wearing some fancy clothes I would have looked stiff and uncomfortable, and I don’t think he would have started a conversation with me. Even though I was dressed more sporty and less feminine, I think this dude was responding to the fact that I looked happy — looked like I was having fun and doing my thing.

Cheers to that dude, and big ups to all the ladies out there that aren’t afraid to be themselves!