Complaining About Track Bike Hipsters
It pains me to do a post that uses the word “hipster,” because it’s very usage in a sentence has already flagged the speaker (in this case, me) as snarky and judgmental…perhaps even, a hipster?! Yes, the instant that a person says the word, “hipster” they are transformed into a purple and/or neon green flannel adorned snake eating its own tail.
That hardly made sense, but it was a long-winded way of saying that in writing this post, I am treading very delicate waters, as I do not want to become a fleshy, plaid donut.
Complaining about hipsters riding track bikes. It’s a favorite topic of conversation…especially amongst hipsters who ride track bikes.
No One Cares How Old School You Are
I have had many, many conversations with fellow cyclists (lovely people at that) who bemoan the day that the hipster track bike phenomenon took over their town. In fact, I have been that bemoaner countless times.
It was hard to resist these moments in conversation, because they gave me the opportunity to rattle off a few quick braggy bullet points off my own cycling resume, “back when I started riding fixed gear in [ name a year a long time ago and pause to let the listener do the math and appreciate your old-schooledness ] .”
But, I eventually found that bragging about being old-school is only fun when you’re not old-school. Once you’re old enough to actually be old-school, you’re starting to notice signs of wear and tear on your body, and the whole concept seems to have lost its sex appeal. An honest-to-god old person complaining about being old is the sign of ultimate lameness. Let Marvin demonstrate for us:
Sucks, right? Seriously, don’t let this be you:
And It’s Not Just Cyclists
I remember a similar vibe in skateboarding culture. More well-established skaters would scoff at the new up-and-comers, “That dude sucks.”
I’d always reply, a little puzzled, “Yeah, it’s ’cause he just started. Everybody sucked when they started. I still suck. Who cares?”
Did they want their sport to die? As soon as they got involved, were there to be no new riders? Did they want to be not only the first, but also the last skateboarder on the planet? A one-man phenom? An inexplicable, singular moment in time, of which, there would surely be countless documentaries, interviews, and panties thrown?
I wonder if it’s American culture’s preoccupation with individuality, fueled by teen / twenty-something hubris? Or is it herd mentality, and whatever that principal is that after around 100 people, a group divides and it becomes us vs. them?
Honestly, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that it’s become destructive to cycling on the whole. That is, of course, assuming that you are like me and that you’d like to see as many people on bikes as possible — am I assuming too much?
What Are We Trying to Accomplish?
In looking at my own behavior, I had to admit I didn’t feel proud about this ownership mentality. So I had to spend some time reflecting on what my goals are. Aside from all the personal benefits that I get from cycling, my goal is to get more people on bikes. The more folks on bikes — whether they be hipsters on track bikes or grandma on a beach cruiser — the better!
Think of it this way: If you think that the guy on that Soma frame is a fashion-wave-riding douche, wouldn’t you rather him be a douche on a Soma than a douche in a Hummer? I would! And if you’re selfish and you still aren’t buying what I’m selling, well…imagine how much better your own riding experience would be if the block you’re on is packed with 20 well-intentioned cyclists, as opposed to 20 angry drivers in their Hummers/Monstrosities/Escalades. I prefer the former, don’t you?
I think you’ll enjoy yourself more if you let go, and just ride. And encourage other people to ride. You don’t own this, I don’t own this. It’s better if we share.
An Aside About Plaid Snakes
That opening rant reminded me of those two trippy Disney clips, remember these?
Dumbo drunken soap bubble sequence (on YouTube)
Winnie the Pooh dream sequence, Heffalumps and Woozles (on YouTube)
